Time for Parenting...

...because raising children is a full-time job

October 2004 Newsletter

A time to every purpose

Alexandra Nightingale

I was recently rung up by a fellow Classicist from my former college (the annual appeal for funds!), who commented with some admiration, I am glad to say, on my job description of "full time mother". "They always say Classics graduates can turn their hand to anything," he joked. "Unfortunately, that particular avenue will never be open to me."

There was a hint of regret in his tone which set me wondering how women have come to believe that men "have it all" and that the male career path is one to which women therefore have a right, if not a duty, to aspire. Is a constant focus on career throughout the forty-odd years of one's working life really so enviable? Is it not, in fact, women who are in a better position to "have it all", in terms of both pursuing a chosen career and having a built-in opportunity for a break from it, thanks to the wonderful gift of child-bearing?

The secret, of course, is not to expect to have it all at once - which goes against the grain of our consumer society. But then, in those famous words from Ecclesiastes, "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Why not "a time to work and a time to raise children"? "If you want to understand the miracle of creation," said the Chief Rabbi, Dr Jonathan Sachs, in a recent Thought for the Day, "look at the face of a child." After all, even God allowed Himself a day off to admire and enjoy His handiwork.