Time for Parenting...

...because raising children is a full-time job

March 2003 Newsletter

Equal, not identical; new members write; "Your Dad's a teacher"; What the papers say; What is work?

New members write

Members relate their experiences as full time mothers.

My decision to work again will certainly be based on my daughter's needs. Although we struggle financially, I feel it would go against the very reason I wanted a baby if I were to return to work. A change in our tax and benefits system would take a lot of pressure off of mothers and would no doubt result in some happier and more secure children. - Anna, Hampshire

Am isolated in a sea of women who couldn't bear to stay at home full time. I am talking a different language. I have the best job in the world! - Jackie, Kent

I worked part-time when I had my first child but broke my heart every time I had to leave her. After my second daughter I decided to become a full-time mum. People constantly ask me, 'Are you working at the moment?' and I am always made to feel as though I've taken the easy option - the lazy way out. It was great to read about other mothers like myself and to feel that you are campaigning for change. I would like to spread the word through your good work. - Dawn, Middlesex

I work 2 days a week, but my children are looked after one day by my mother and oneday by their daddy (my husband). So for me the really important thing is that they are only ever looked after by a parent or grandparent - people who love them 100%. But I want to be part of FTM because I really believe in the importance of mothers, and fathers, looking after their own children, and I support everything FTM is trying to do to make mothering and home-based parents more valued in society, and to support full time mothers and give them self esteem. They are doing the most important and hardest job of all. - Lizzie, London

We have just had our first child Joshua. I am due to return to work in January 2003 after eight months at home. I would have loved to have taken a career break if that was an available option. I am currently trying to negotiate a part-time position with my employer but am not hopeful. Therefore, I may have to return full-time to work.

I am in regular contact with the other women in my antenatal group and everyone has similar ideas. I will distribute your literature to them once I receive it. I think you aims are very laudable.- Caroline, Bucks

I enclose an article from The Observer about mothers who lack maternal instinct, which has shocked me into writing to you!
Surely none of us are 'natural mothers' from Day 1? But we determine to learn and we do learn because we love these creatures we have made! I hate this idea that if it doesn't come naturally you give up. We are responsible even if we don't much like it, or all of it…
With my own children now aged 8 and over I have a new problem of trying to get back to full-time work and finding it near impossible - because I'm 50!! Yet we will need the income for their university future - what a nasty new dilemma. What do other mothers think/do/plan?

What horrifies most in this article is that all children pick up at once how much they are thought of and what they are worth. Babies dumped in a nursery because their mothers found them boring will know that on some level throughout their lives…

Christine, Worc